Alcohol Temptations

10.21.2009

My alcoholic tendencies seem to have run wild. I was careless in believing that it might have been acceptable to expose my brother to my addictions and vulnerability. I wouldn't say that I am an alcoholic, but I'm cutting it close. I drink every night and I drink just for the sake of forgetting that life really sucks.It numbs out my pain and I can laugh without reason. I can smile without reason. The world seems to be numb to the fact that I am slowly killing myself. I need to control this before it gets worse. At least I can see how much I am damaging myself through the simple act of drinking some wine... But at my body weight (98 lb today), half a glass of red wine will tip me over.

Yes, I'm a cheap date.

So far therapy has done wonders in calming me down. I never used to believe in therapy. Now I'm addicted! (Joke). Taking in a relaxing environment from deep within my soul... It's like a deep tissue massage for my mind. I should (must) continue.

For those of you who are strong, motivated, organized, and put-together people who do not believe in the power of therapy, I ask you to open your mind to the fact that psychotherapy is also a branch of professional medical practice. When you get a cut, you put a bandaid and ointment on it. When you have a headache, you take a tylenol. When your mind is in distress and confusion, you see a therapist. Talk therapy is its own branch of healing. And for those of you who are as "type-A" personality as I am, I highly recommend opening your heart (or try) to an individual you will never call you friend, you can only ever call your therapist.